Insomnia and pain

It's been happening for a long time now... I can't sleep at night and i end up sleeping no more than a few hours a day, I look like a zombie...

On top of that I have a pain on my left side of the neck and goes down my shoulder, my hair keeps on falling down like a ding dong hopper....

I have no time for myself I cant do my nails anymore cause of the smell... That will make F have an asthma attack, I don't really have time to do my hair, keeping up with my roots its not easy...

I need to win the lotery so I can go to a spa and have a day for myself... I will just keep dreaming about it.... Lmao.

Let's talk about what's been going on... We had training Saturday and Ashley will be on the special Olympics tournament next Sunday... She had fun Saturday but at the end she was not so happy, cause she was really tired... It's just not easy to run on your tip toes... Poor baby...

Sunday was a lazy day... It was raining and i was not going to get myself wet so we staid home.... There was nothing to do anyway.

Ashley its been complaining about a bellyache and that really concerns me... It's not normal to have a pain like that on a regular basis.... I was also thinking that she is now seven... Could it be her period coming?? I hope not... She is so not ready and neather am I...

I should go to bed... We have therapy tomorrow and its late...

Last minute everything!!!

I had such a hard day, today Ashley had to go to the pediatrician for a check up, and for the sport physical, she loves to go to the doctor.


We got to see her amazing pediatrician, she is just the best of this world... Ashley is up to date with vaccinations and she only had to give me something for the allergy that she has... we are going to do all the blood work after the Nephrology appointment...


We got home and had a nice lunch, it was too late to take her to school anyway, what made my day go nuts was that today was the last day for my son to finish a science project, and he is been so lazy that he had nothing done...


after I picked him up I drove to the store, only to find out that I didn't had my purse with me...Ding... What a fudgeroo men... I had to come back home, and then go again to the store...


We got all the materials and came back home, we found F outside cause he was just coming from work, I had to give them dinner, and after that we started with the project, a baking soda volcano...


Easy right???? WRONG!!! freaking thing was hard to make and it took us about 3 hours to finish it... 


I was so mad at my son for doing this, since he had more than a month to do it, and I kept reminding him about it, I even told him that I didn't wanted him doing it the night before it was due, lmao and that is what happen....


Even Ashley was helping... poor baby had to take a quick shower cause it was so late and past her bed time... I didn't had any dinner and now I'm so hungry... I will have to sneak in the kitchen.


Oh and let me tell you what happen to me the other day... I had this camera that was almost a year old, it was giving me so much trouble, the videos had a clicking sound and the pics where not the best... I had taken that camera to repair center 3 times and I took it back cause it was again going all funky on me.


I walked into best buy and told the geek squad guy about the camera... and he was like... Oh... well since its been at the repair center 3 times, we just cant send it again, for a second I was like " OH Fudge" but then he told me that it was time for them to give me a new camera, WOOHOOO, I was so happy!!!


He started all the paperwork and then he had to call the supervisor cause he was having an issue... but after he was done he came back with a little box, and he told me, that they didn't had the same camera anymore, and that he had to get another kind, when he showed me the box I said, Holly cradmolly... it was a better camera, mine was a sonny and inside the box was an Olympus with better pixel quality and zoom... able to take pics in 3d and HD videos... 


Of curse I was going to take it, and the pictures are amazing, and so are the videos... I was so lucky...cause the supervisor approved it, the issue was that the Olympus camera was not the same price as mine, and cause they approved the exchange I didn't had to pay a difference... I just love my new camera...   
   

I hate allergies!!!

Like you all know the weather its been nuts, one day cold, the next hot... Pollen everywhere and its just so hard to deal with all the allergies, my older son has so many allergies, he wants to be playing outside but cant, cause poor baby is allergic to trees, dust, grass, pollen and so many more... its just crazy...


Now, Ashley is showing signs of having allergies too... arrggg that really sucks, I really don't want to add another doctor to the extended list of doctors she already has... 


I really don't know what will be best!? maybe it will help but a weekly allergy shoot its not something she will like or want, that's for sure...


We had to take the carpet off the living room due to severe asthma that F has, now the cleaning of the floors will really be a challenge, today I moped the floor at around noon, and a little after 4pm I noticed that it was so dusty and with a lot of dog hair, ( I was chillaxing on the floor, lol don't ask)just perfect for me cause I have all day long to clean the floors... lmao


Oh well I guess that will have to be done once a day and I should stop been so paranoid about the dog hair...


Tomorrow is a good day, we finally have the evaluation for private OT, I really want them to give me the appts the same day we have PT, so that way I will only make the trip once a week, I can only hope that things will be this way, cause if they have other plans, there is not much I can do...


I actually should be sleeping right now, but I cant sleep, that really sucks big time cause I must get up early to get the kids ready and myself cause we all have to go to school, they go to learn and I go to help with the school store.


I must keep myself busy all day long since I have this feeling, this need of a baby...


My family its complete, and I feel like I shouldn't be thinking about this, I have a boy and a girl, I need to focus on having the time and energy to take care of my little Ashley, how could I have the time and energy to do all that I have to do with a little one needing so much from me as well!!! 


Its sad but I cant have another baby, I don't feel like its fare for Alder and Ashley... even more for Alder cause he is the one that has to help me most of the time, I don't have a lot of time for him, and he does complains about it, so how could I do this to them??? 


I really need to get this feeling out of my system for good...

spring break

This week its been so not easy for me, the kids are on spring break and on top of that I had so many things to do this week, they want me to take them to the store and they want to eat out, but I cant really do that!!!, we are not so good with money right now... 


Their dad is working everyday Thank God, but with all the gas that I use every week, (for appointments and therapies) it makes things harder and harder... Plus this kids eat so much, I don't really think they eat this much at school, now I think they are always hungry when they are there...


So good that today is Friday, tomorrow we are going to the Special Olympic practice, I was thinking about going to the Williams Syndrome walk in Frederick MD, but I have to ask first, cause last time I set up something like this I got in trouble... 


It was for the polar plunge, "F" lmao, I will name him F cause he doesn't want to be named on my blog... oh well F made plans that day and we had to come back from Virginia Beach the same day of the plunge, cause he made plans for the night, I was so mad at him... 


I didn't wanted him to go with us, but at the end he made a big drama and he had to go... so before I get all mad again because he will tell me something like, "you never ask if we can do this or that" I will ask him, just this time tho... lol


I never do... wahahaha but I was told by someone that when we are told something we do or we don't do, we should try to improve ourselves by not doing it or doing it... I don't really know if that can improve my relationship with F, cause right now its a total drama...


Don't worry I wont make you read all this drama of my life with F, cause its not important... lets keep this for us and not involve anything that has issues with F... unless its affecting my or my kids life really bad... 


For now its not a big deal... My brother will be moving so far away soon, and that really makes me wonder so many things... I don't want him to move, at least not so far away, it will be impossible to see them, we always have a great time when we can be with them... 


I have a few more months to maybe spend some more time with them... my brothers family its so fun and awesome... I will sure miss them.


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Fear and pain

Today was PT day... or as we call it, stretchy day...lol the kids are on spring break and that made my day a bit better, I had to deal with a little traffic going to the appointment, but nothing major, we had so much fun watching Ashley push herself in a little car with her legs and then with her arms, after the therapy we stopped by  my sister's in law house, so the kids could play with her kids... when we came back it was already after 4 pm so we went to buy some things to fix dinner, or as we call it... ding dings... 


After day I had to get all the papers for Ashley ready for tomorrow, we have an appointment so I can get Ashley's SSI, I have never done this before and I am so clueless about what I need and what I wont need... 


Ashley has a funny reaction to  pollen her eyes will turn red and she will have a green discharge, but as soon as clean her eyes and get her indoors it will go away... its so unusual it has never happen before, I will call her pediatrician tomorrow and see if she can be seen..


nothing exiting today I know, I had a blah day and a sad night, when I got online and saw that a WS baby got her wings today... I couldn't hold my tears and I had to stop and go to the bathroom so I wouldn't upset the kids... I told my older son that saw me after a few minutes an noticed that I was crying, my Ashley heard it and said its so unfair, and started to cry as well... 


I cant help but worry about my girl, cause we WS moms know that all this issues can show up any time, and how hard and dangerous they can be to our kids.... 


I can only pray and hope that Ashley wont develop any life threatening conditions, cause I don't know if I could deal with that, I'm not strong enough.... 

Physical Therapy

Now that My daughter has Physical Therapy I can see improvement on how she is walking, even tho she doesn't like when we have to do the stretches its very important to keep doing it, she is walking but not the "normal" way... 


Making her exercise is such a challenge, the only way she will do it is if she is not aware that she is doing it.... do I make any sense?  playing and doing everything fun for her... Not easy I have to say, we will be doing lots of "therapy exercises" outdoors.


And talking about outdoors, have you all notice the amount of mosquitoes we have? they always want to eat me alive, its not fun to be all itchy, today they got me good, on my back and arms, I should look for some natural way to get them off my skin...


I need a scouter for Ashley, so she can do some of her exercises, good thing is not very expensive... I will get it soon for her, she has been doing lots of paying with the therapy putty, I added some beads to it and she loves to get them out of it, that sure will help getting her fingers stronger, she is not able to hold the pencil the right way, even tho the school OT said that she is, she is not, she has to be reminded to hold it the right way, and when she does, she soon gets tired and starts holding it the wrong way...


Its going to be fun seen her with the things on her feet, they wrap around the feet and make noise, I'm sure that the dog will be chasing her... lol


My sleeping patterns are so messed up now that I cant even go to bed early, I think I will ask my doctor for some sleeping id... Nothing else going on... at least not important enough to be shared here... 


I was told once that if its not important, we shouldn't give any energy to it... I think that is true since if we do give energy to it becomes a problem... smart move ha...  


Have a good night and I will try to blog more often... 

Amazing weekend

Such a long weekend, we had so much fun, Friday was a bit hard, it was Ashley's birthday, she is now 7 years old, my beautiful baby is growing up so fast, she woke up very happy and loved that I was singing happy birthday, I got her ready for school, after they left, I started cleaning but somewhere in between there I got a call, I had to take my pregnant friend somewhere, so I went to get her, I had to stop by Walmart to buy the cake, and rush my way back home to get all the things that I needed to take to school... 


The cake was so good, chocolate like Ashley asked... she was so happy, the only problem was that I didn't knew that it was Dr Seuss day, and that they could go dressed as a character, we totally missed that... 


Saturday was very exiting, I had visits, so we cooked and had lots of food, it was delightful, awesome to be with friends around...


And today, I got to be with my pregnant friend again, we ate with her family, they are so sweet and we just love to be around them, now I'm super exhausted all I want is to go to bed, but I'm waiting on the dryer machine to be done, argg that is not fun at all... I wish I could just go to bed, but we need our clothes, I'm sure that by the time the dryer is done I wont be sleepy anymore... 


I need to go back to the gym, I just don't know if I will be able to do so... its so hard when the gas prices are so high, more than $4.00 per gallon is not easy to afford, even harder when your vehicle is a monster like mine... 


If things keep on going this way, I will end up riding a donkey... how can we keep paying those prices? its crazy!! we don't get more money a month, but we are expected to afford the price of gas?? I have to take my daughter to her therapies... I just hope that my husband will actually work everyday, cause if he doesn't, well we will have a serious economical problem... 


I wont think about that for now, I will live one day at a time like I do all the time, its just the only way...