say what??

What a day I had, in the morning before taking Ashley to her PT we went to the school store, and the school has some eggs in an incubator, it was so cute seen Ashley looking at them and singing to them to come out, when we came back from PT, I took her to school and a few minutes later the first egg hatched, such an awesome thing to watch, all the school was able to see it, cause they had it on their tv's...


Then I had to go to the store, and I used my very first 6 coupons, I was so nervous about them, but they worked fine... now I want to learn how to buy with them and save lots of money... I got a lot of things that we needed.


after the kids came from school, we went to buy some dirt so I can grow some vegetables, I'm very serious about saving all I can this summer, things are not looking good with my husband, and I have to save some money just in case, better safe than sorry!!! 


I got lots of seeds and I will start tomorrow with my new garden, that is if my ferret wakes up tomorrow, he is so old that he needs lots of brakes to go eat and get back to his bed, he shakes if he is standing up eating or drinking water, he is been with us since he was 4 months old, he is now more than 8 years old...


I had to talk to my son about this and he said good buy to him just in case, I don't really know how to explain that to Ashley, she loves him so much, he is her baby, its going to be so hard once he is no longer with us, but I'm not buying another ferret, they are so high maintenance, and I don't have the time to play and teach all the rules again...


he is one of the best pets I ever had, and the coolest one, I will get a ferret tattoo just cause I love him so much and he deserves to be remembered for ever...  I want another tattoo, I want a WS one, but I want to modify it a little, I hope its OK... I might have to ask...


we had a nice dinner and the kids had fun after, I got the crayola finger paint and crayons for bath time... and Ashley love them, she usually cries cause she doesn't want to take a shower, so today I made a bubble bath for her and she was playing with the paint and the crayons, she loved it, I am so letting her do this if not every day maybe I can alternate between the bubble bath, the paint and the crayons... 


She was asking me if she could do it tomorrow again... that was a score for me... 

Oh Monday!!!

Today I had the chance to do lots of things that I kept on putting behind, after the school store, (I volunteer at my kids school ) I went to my friend house, I had some little things for her girls, I called her and she was getting ready to walk her younger child to school, so I told her to wait for me so I could take them, today was really windy and kind of cold... 


After taking them to school, we went back to her place and I had a nice cup of coffee, we talk and made some phone calls to different places to make some appts, we had a good time, I came home and I started the cleaning here, it was a lot!! cooking and cleaning at the same time, after all that work, it looks the same way...


My work here never ends, I had to yelled at the dog, he was been mean to Ashley, he is still grounded, lol... he is in the corner of the living room looking at me with his sad face, poor baby!! 


not so interesting day I know, but I did lots of cleaning and I'm proud of it, I'm a bit annoyed by the ferret tho, he is so old that cant make it to his littler box, and he will poop everywhere, so I have to be bleaching that floor lots of times because of him... 


I cant wait till spring break... I want to do lots of things with the kids, its going to be fun, for now I must plan Ashley's B-day at school this Friday, I have to send a note to the teacher tomorrow, and I have a field trip to pay for... my son will love that field trip... OK its bed time for me... Bye bye

what a fun weekend we had

Sunday already!!! wow, this weekend went fast... we sure had a blast, we finally decided to go to the baby shower, and the person that II had the issue with was nice and all, I'm the kind of person that if you talk to me I will talk to you... 


We talked about random stuff and had fun... her kids behaved well and I had no problem with anyone... we came back home a bit before 5 am, they didn't stay till then, it was only my pregnant friend's family another person and us... we talked about lots of things, including what they think about WS, and what they think Ashley will be able to do in the future... they really have very hi hopes and expectations for her, and that is awesome, we have a lot of people that love our kids and care about them, that is the best feeling ever!!!


After we got home, the dog was very happy to see us, we all went to bed to sleep, in the morning Ashley had to go wake me up, she was hugging me and telling me that she loves me so much, after having her on top of me for about 30 minutes I got up, I gave her chicken nuggets and I fixed something to all of us to eat later...


Chinese food was the option of the day, so after we ate I had to go back to my friends house cause I forgot my purse there..lol. I cant even believe that I did that, when I got there the girls, wanted us to go with them somewhere, but I was by myself, hubby and kids were at home.


I'm really exited that my friend will have her baby any day now, she has 4 girls and this one is a surprise since we don't know if its a boy or a girl... I cant wait to see the baby and be able to hug him\her, since I wont be having anymore kids this baby will get lots of attentions from me... 


Ashley's Birthday its Friday, and she wants cupcakes that day, I will bake some and buy some pizza so I can take it to her class... she will be seven, they are getting so big, super fast... I need to buy her a gift and start planing her party... nothing big tho... but I'm sure that she will be so happy to have a few friends over that day... 

Friday at last!!!

Today  was a fun day, it started a bit wonky... we totally woke up late and missed the bus... I had to take the kids to school and after that I went to Ashley's Godmothers house... after chilling there for a bit, we went out to buy a gift for Ashley.... she is going to be seven next Friday... my baby is getting so big, anyway she got her a bicycle... now, how cool is that? she loves my kids so much... I did got a few things for them too... after that we had to go get lunch... so the choice was Chinese, yummy...

After that I got time to be with her for a bit more petting her dog... she looks just like my dog, she was a bit nervous tho, she wanted to bite me, yikes... but after a few minutes she was loving me... lol

The weather is been really hot, that just drains my energy somehow... but other than that everything its fine, my friend called me today, she wants me to go to her house  tomorrow but, she is having a baby shower organized by a person that doesn't talk to me, we had an issue sometime ago, her kid said something about my daughter... He called her crazy, and I had to tell his mom, well she took it all wrong and made her sister in law to uninvited us to her kids B-day party... well, I don't know if I should go or not... arrggg I would love to be with my friend but I don't do well with long faces...

I have to think this one... for now I should go to bed, its late and tomorrow I have to get up early to have a delightful breakfast for the kids, Im sure they will love some pancakes... have a good weekend...

Busy month!!! I need a break

We have so much going on right now, between PT, school, Dr appts and our daily routine, I have no time for anything else... the house is been neglected and I just feel like I need a long nap to get some energy back... 


We finally got private PT, that is awesome, BUT... its so far away, its a 40 min one way drive, gas is so expensive that is literally making a big difference on our budget, on top of that we had to go to all the yearly check ups... 


First one on the list was Genetics... So yesterday I took her to her pt and after that I had to rush home to get my older son, my husband and go to Children's National ...


I don't drive to DC so, hubby had to drive :P after a long, long wait, we had a lot of questions answered, about anxiety and behavior, about school and home issues, next on the list cardiology... 


For now, I can relax a bit... in a few days we will have to do all the blood work, that is not going to be fun...  I really don't know how I will manage to afford all the gas for this and next month, we are on God's hands and he will help us as always, I'm sure that we will make it just fine... 


Hubby is working and that is good,  we are on a waiting list for OT and speech... I have to keep on pushing forward all the help she needs wont come by itself... next weekend we will start training for track, we have to rock the special Olympics team... woohoo... that's another day that I have to be with Ashley... 


My older son Alder is now complaining about it, he feels like I have just not enough time for him... I am trying as hard as I can... I just wish I could have some help sometimes so I could be with him more often... I know is not fun for him to be going around doctors offices... 


No wonder I don't want to have more kids... I just have no time for that... I don't see me with a baby now... maybe I will adopt someday!!! 

My work never ends

Been a mom means a constant work 24\7, we have to be everything and some more to our kids, even when we are sick we have to be there for them, its just part of been a mom, and every night I'm in charge of scaring the monsters that live in the closets, I'm their super hero and I should act like it...


But what does it mean to be a super mom?, it means making the impossible possible... Fixing their favorite outfit, toy or catching that bug that is scaring them... (everything but spiders) I dont do spiders... eekk ...


I'm not complaining in any way, it is constant work, and on top of all that you normally do as a mom, been a special needs mom has many ups and downs, all the medical issues that you have to deal with your child, people making rude comments, running up and down like a crazy person, getting that really?? look whenever someone asks you to do something or go somewhere on a day, and responding the hold on!! I have to check my agenda... lol...  I wish it was social events I had there, but its all Dr, appts... I have more specialist numbers on my phone than you can imagine... But yet you are expected to have tons of patience with people that have no clue about your life, and after a few weeks I had to get away from toxic people.


But today, I had a blast!!! I took the kids to a birthday party @ Chuck E Cheese, and since I cant relax there like other parents do... I had to be with my daughter playing, I got to behave like a child... hehehe there is nothing like taking the kids to a place where they can be kids... I just love it!!! the look on their face, the excitement of collecting the tickets and the reward of cashing them for stuff... every parent should do that at least once a month... 

I'm not a perfect mom...

All this things keep going on in our life, we can't fix them all... Between the kids, the house, the dog, the school and everything else, I cant find any time for myself... 


Been a special needs mom is not easy in any way, if you have a special needs child you know what I mean, but if you don't... well that is an unexplored ground for you... 


Many parents will try to tell me how to educate my kids, and yes, maybe, just maybe they are a bit annoying sometimes, but I have learn that you have to love them, and make them feel important, useful and capable every day, for me it doesn't matter if the house is a bit chaotic !!! as long as I see happy faces... 


I don't want a show house, I want a home... you will find clean laundry on the baskets, so what?? its clean!!! ask my kids if they are happy?? I will rather play with them than have a perfect looking house... 


I was not like this, let me tell you!!! I was always bitching about them not keeping the house clean, about me cleaning for hours, and them have them destroy it in a few minutes, all about don't do that!! stop!! etc... 


My husband doesn't agree with me so much about this, we wants a perfect looking house even if that means yelling to the kids and not letting them been kids and play... BUT, what is wrong with letting the kids make a little house in the living room with blankets and pillows?, what is wrong about letting them take a bubble bath and play with paint in the tub??...


You might not agree with me... and don't get me wrong, I do all the things that I must do as a mom... I do clean the house and fix their food, I do their laundry and help them with their homework, they do have chores and expect them to do them... I don't yell at them, spank or punish them like other parents do... I do timeouts like you and take away privileges when its needed, and they respect me, love me, and behave... 


Been a special needs mom change my life for the better...   I'm not perfect, and I don't want to be perfect, I overprotect my kids, or at least that's what people tells me all the time, but I don't think that not letting your kids play outside without adult supervision is bad... you never know who might try to get them if they are by themselves... and no they don't sleep over a friend house, or walk to the stop bus or home alone, they are not left in the house without an adult...


I will not eat if they want my food, I will not buy new clothes if the need them before me, I will keep my old shoes but they will have new ones... I am silly with them, playful and loving... nothing wrong with that... right?

Rushing through life...

When we are kids, we want to be old enough to be able to do things, we rush through  everything... Kids playing to be adults, but when we are adults... well, that is just another rush, getting to know people, trying to get along with family, etc... normal stuff right??


Well... not for me!!
I rushed to get a family, I was a mom at 18... it was cake really, I had a very easy going life, I had to take care of my son and be a home maker, then I was pregnant again, I had my daughter at 21, my pregnancy was hard, I felt alone since the beginning, my husband was not happy about me been pregnant again, but she was there, alive, I was never going to do anything to harm her, so time when by with lots of scary things like, low placenta, danger of a miscarriage, no weight gain, small child and so on... But I fought for that baby with all my might.


Finally came the day of having her... so I went to the hospital all happy, my labor was induced, so I was as happy as can be...  Got the medication, after been forgotten by the hospital personal, I called them to give me something for the pain, but just my luck, I was already 9cm... so it was time to push and have my baby, when she was born I was amazed by how small my beautiful baby was, it was not hard to fall in love with her...


Then came all the sleepless nights, non stop crying at night... and no clue of what was going on... and again life rushed by, I saw that my daughter was different I just couldn't explain how, she was late to sit, walk, smile, etc... Something was wrong!!! but what?? I had no idea, the doctors kept saying that she was small cause I was very petite, and that all the kids develop different...


Finally after looking to many things, last year I had a glimpse of what was really going on... On a routine eye exam the Ophthalmologist told me about Williams Syndrome, I had no idea what that was, I had never heard of it before, so when I got home I looked for it online, and oh boy!!! I saw a picture of a little girl, she was just like my daughter, and I couldn't hold my tears, I had to know if it was WS what she had, I calmed myself down and called the pediatrician, I asked them for a genetic test...


I was send then to Children's National Hospital, and that was the only time that i couldn't feel the rush, everything was so slow... the Appt was such a hard one, I was told the words that I didn't wanted to hear, my daughter looked like she had Williams Syndrome, but we had to  do the fish test to be sure... so we had to wait for the results, it was the longest month of my life...


Finally, the day came, I was so scared to go by myself, not only cause of what the doctor was going to tell me, but because I don't drive to DC ever, I asked my best friend to go with me, and she said yes, she also got her husband to go with us... That morning I woke up sick, I was trowing up and I was dizzy, on our way to the hospital I kept on telling myself to be strong, I was shaking when we got to the hospital, in the room the doctor gave me the worst case of WS, the fear that I had came truth my daughter had WS, I wanted to cry, scream, and slap the doctor that keep saying all this things like, she will never be able to deal with money, she will never be able to live a normal life, I was devastated, at the end, my friend hugged me, I had to stay strong and not cry to not upset my daughter, it was so hard, everything felt unreal, in the car I was crying without making any sound, my tears kept coming unstoppable...


When I got home I put on a DVD for her to watch, and I went to my bedroom to cry, my heart was in so much pain, but it was not physical, I never  felt that before, I kept asking God, why her?? I didn't ask why me? but why her?, why?... and again I felt so alone... telling my family the news was so hard, telling my mom was easy, she didn't make a fuss about it, but telling my brother, well that was hard, he loves my kids so much that it hit him like a ton of bricks ...


after all this... life before my daughter was cake... and life keeps rushing its way, and tomorrow ? Well, lets just say that we don't ask about tomorrow, we live the today!!!