This weekend was fun, exhausting and exiting at the same time... Ashley had her first competition and let me tell you that she did awesome... ran like a champion and did all she was told to... I almost cried when I heard all the crowd cheering for her...
It was far away, but the place was awesome, so many people and it was filled with enthusiasm and good vibes... everyone was hysterically supportive, I just had no idea that the special Olympics meet ups were so nice and invigorating, I can see myself next week there regardless of been tired or anything...
I took a lot of pictures and video, I cant help but smile when I see them... After the event was over we dared to go to a party, it was as far as the place we went to the meet... Its a farm a milk farm, but they have other animals and its awesome to see the kids play and be able to run without worry that there will be cars or danger...
Ashley was amazed with the goats, she was petting them, and they were so good with her, after that she started chasing the rooster chickens... They also behave so good, they didn't attack her even tho she was really trying to get them...
But the fun part was that after a few minutes I walked to check on her and I found her inside the chick cage, chasing them... And right after I said Ashley what are you doing in there, she graved one chick by the neck and told me... "look mommy a chicken", I had to ask her to not choke the poor chick and to leave them alone, not before taking some pics of her been inside the cage...
She had so much fun, then they found a frog, or toad, I don't even know what that was... but I had to save his life cause they wanted to put him under a lot of grass... and right when I was relaxing thinking that they had no more animals to chase... I heard my son say... Look!!! AFLAK... !!! I was like what?? and then I saw Ashley trying to get her little body inside the duck cage...
What is it with my child been so curious about animals all of the sudden?? she was not like this a few months ago...
We came back home way too late, and the way back was not so nice, since I had to drive back home and I had this thing going on with my right eye... its all red and it hurts, it looks like someone hit me, the weird part is that F has the same thing on the same eye... But his is now not as bad as mine.
Today I had to take Ashley to the cardiologist, they did the annual EKG and ultrasound, the results are the same as last year, no change on the blockage she has on one of the main arteries of the heart, and the abnormal palpitations are the same way they were last year, so no more cardiologist for 2 years... That is good news, no restrictions and she has the OK to do the special Olympics track season...
She was so tired after yesterday tho... and now my arms and legs are hurting cause I had to carry her after the event was done, she was beyond tired, she had no energy to even hold on to me... poor baby!!! But I am so proud of her...
Tomorrow we have PT and we must start OT as well...
Again I have this feeling that I want a baby!!! but I know that it will go away soon, I was holding my friends baby, she is super cute, 3 weeks old and loves my arms... she didn't cried and was so nice to have her... She reminds me of Ashley when she was a baby... awesome memories, and that reminds me that I need to make a video about Ashley!!!
For now that's all that its been going on, I read the last few post of this blog and they are so adult like... Wow, where is my fun going??
Oh I almost forgot this part... Sunday morning we had to be at the meet place at 9:30am, so I was ready to go at 8:00am, and we did, only to found out that I forgot the bag with Ashley's uniform and our lunch at home... it was 8:30 when I notice the bag was not in the car, what a fudgeroo, we had to come back home, I was so upset with myself, I wanted to cry, I send a text to my friend as ask her to please register Ashley for me, I was going to be so late, but I was determined to get there... What a ding dong!!! how could I forget something that important!!! I rushed to open the door only to find that I had not only forgot the bag but the video camera... really?? what a ding dong hopper I was to forget such an important bag... don't you think?
That was the mayor Fudgeroo of the day.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
How unfair all this is!!!
Its been a hard week, I have been working at school every day helping with the book fair, its fun to do that... I like working with kids, and I discovered that I like kindergartners better than older kids...
On the other hand I had a call about our schedule for OT, and it will be a bit problematic, since they want to see Ashley 2 hours a week the first few weeks and then it will go to an hour a week, the only problem is that I will have to go 3 times a week there, cause they want to see her Monday for OT, Tuesday for PT and Thursday for OT again... they will try to squeeze us on Tuesdays, so I will have to take her there only once a week... we are talking about a 45 min drive, and the gas is so expensive that I cant afford to do that 3 times a week...
Right now we are having some problems with money, F will get paid next Saturday and we have a few hundred to survive the week, the bad part is that we have to pay the rent and some bills in the next few days... our credit cards are almost on the limit and I haven't heard anything from SSI... We have a few groceries left that I will have to make it last for the week...
Tomorrow we have to go to our first special Olympics competition, and I wish we didn't had to go, since its so far away and that means expending money on gas, I will take some food for us, and hope that we will work something out for the week...
We always do at the end, I get to be creative with food and basic stuff, at the end is fun to do it with the kids, Today Ashley was really upset cause she wanted to buy ice cream from the ice cream truck, but I got her happy again when I gave her some Ice cream that we have here in the house, I told them that this one is way better than the one they have on that truck... I cant tell them that I cant buy it for them, they don't have to worry about money cause they are not supposed to... that is my job not theirs...
We played for a few hours, and watch movies here in the house, Alder is so happy with his books, I got him some cool books for free since I got vouchers for helping with the book fair, The weather is been a bit crazy, right now is raining and I cant sleep, I don't like storms, my ferret is sleeping on my lap and I should be looking for my Ipod since I use it as my alarm and I think it doesn't have battery... Ashley was using it all day long...
Its so hard to not think about what will life be once we get to an old age, I watch my ferret and I feel like I don't want to be that old, he cant barely walk and cant make it anymore to the litter box... he is loosing his hair, and will sleep almost all day long, I don't want my son to take care of me, and who will take care of Ashley? I know there is many that will take care of her, but I just cant help it, I worry too much about it!!!
I also have all this sadness that I cant control, I feel like crying, screaming and trowing a tantrum... there are so many thing going on right now that I cant believe how I take care of everything like nothings up...
The only one that seems to notice is the dog, he comes to me and stays close to me, as if he knows that I need someone to be with me, I haven't talked to my mom and sister in a month or more... I have no time, and whenever I find the time, its late or they are working... I hope that they wont feel that I don't call cause I don't want to... because that is really not the case.
Some people is making me feel like I shouldn't apply for help, like SSI... Someone told me that because people like me the system is the way it is... and that really doesn't make any sense, cause I am NOT making things up, I am not abusing the system, and I didn't lie to them about my income or Ashley's disability, I didn't apply because I feel its cool to have a disable child, I might get an stroller, but I would give everything in this world to not have a disable child, and I'm not saying this in a bad way, I love my daughter, but I would love to be able to do normal things like taking them to the park, zoo or mall without worrying about my daughter going with a total stranger and not even feel fear about it... I would give my own life to have my daughter as a typical child...
But I cant... and if I need an stroller for her, I shouldn't have to explain that to people, I will gladly explain why I need it to doctors and other providers, but not to random people that cant understand what it is to have a special needs child...
I am upset with life, and not because of me, but because it will be my daughter the one that will deal with this condition for life, she will want to do things that other people do, like drive a car, go to the mall by herself or with her friends, get her own family and kids... and then what?? how am I going to tell her that she will probably have to forget about that?
My best friend always tells me to live one day at a time, and I do try to do that, but sometimes I cant help it... I don't want to be mad at God, but in a way I am!!! its very unfair, even more when I see mothers that have typical kids and they just don't care about their kids, or when they take the life of that child, Many will be mad at me or will tell me that God is awesome etc... And maybe he is been awesome to you, but he hasn't been that awesome with me...
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Wednesday, April 25, 2012
sounds easy!!!
OK, talking with a friend last night made me realize that many have just no idea what is to have a Williams Syndrome child, now, I will talk about how it is here in my house, but remember that every child is different just like typical kids...
I will tell you step by step how my day goes...
I have to put on at least 5 alarms to get myself up and ready to start my day, and the reason why I do that is not because I'm lazy and I don't want to get up, but because I am exhausted most of the time, I will go to sleep every night at around 2 am, and its not because I want to become a vampire or I'm having fun so late, but because I feel like I must make sure that Ashley wont wake up at midnight vomiting, if she does, she wont call me or get up, she will just start crying very quietly... and I also have to make sure that my son doesn't get an asthma attack, they usually come at around 1 am or so... but I cant tell if they will come or not...
OK, so after I get myself up my bed, I will go wake Alder up so he can get ready and he can get the dog out, that's his morning job, in the mean time I will wake Ashley up and get her clothes ready for her approval... Yes, she is really particular about what she will wear, after she did approve the outfit of the day, I will put it on her, everything including socks and shoes, after that I will call her to fix her hair and brush her teeth, then its time to get her book bag and snack ready... if they are riding the bus that morning I will take them to the bus stop and wait with them until the bus gets here, but if we are all going to school they will ride with me...
Once at school I will send my son to class and get someone to come to the office to get Ashley, (cause I am not allowed to take her to class anymore) she has a bad day if I do that... Then I go to the school store and help there, if there is anything else after the store ours that needs to be done I will usually stay and help, on Tuesdays its a different story cause I do the same morning routine but instead of getting someone to walk Ashley to class, I will take her to the store with me, and then after that we will go to her therapy, its a 40 min drive, then if we are not to late to come back to school I will take her back, if not I will just keep her for the day, so after all this I will come home and fix lunch, take my medicine and get the dog out, start my cleaning and check my emails...
At around 4 I will go get the kids, I do have to wait at the bus stop at least 10 minutes, then I will get Ashley off the bus, yes I literally have to take her off that bus... Give them something to eat and ask my son about 100 times to clean his room, do his homework and chores... That usually will drive me insane and I will end up taking my happy pill before getting really upset, if that day is grocery day, we will have to go to the store and buy some groceries... come back home so I can fix dinner...
Once every 3 weeks I have to take Alder to his allergy shoot, and deal with traffic and them fighting all the way back...
after dinner they have time to relax for a little bit before taking a shower, and yes I have to give Ashley a bath cause she cant do it by herself, oh and lets just add all the extra stuff that I have to do with her everyday, like practicing letters, numbers, colors, shapes, playing with her, and wiping her butt... remind her a 100 times a day to wash her hands and flush the toilet... be nice with the ferret and dog, get away from the stove when I'm cooking and to not open the door ever... to get off the chairs and to not jump on the bed, to check on her every 5 minutes to see what is she up to, and to multitask at the same time...
If we have an appointment that day.... well lets just add it to all the things that I just told you about...
On weekends its a bit different, Saturdays we have practice for special Olympics, after that she is exhausted and wont want to do anything else, so we are usually home, cause she cant walk much without asking to be carried, and she is now too heavy for me... Their dad wont help me so everything needs to be done by their favorite person "me"...
On top of all that if F wants me to go to the bank or do something for him, that will just add to my day...
So now you know how a day goes in my house... I almost forgot...
Ashley will ask unstoppable about events like Halloween, her Birthday and other things, EVERYDAY!!!
I will tell you step by step how my day goes...
I have to put on at least 5 alarms to get myself up and ready to start my day, and the reason why I do that is not because I'm lazy and I don't want to get up, but because I am exhausted most of the time, I will go to sleep every night at around 2 am, and its not because I want to become a vampire or I'm having fun so late, but because I feel like I must make sure that Ashley wont wake up at midnight vomiting, if she does, she wont call me or get up, she will just start crying very quietly... and I also have to make sure that my son doesn't get an asthma attack, they usually come at around 1 am or so... but I cant tell if they will come or not...
OK, so after I get myself up my bed, I will go wake Alder up so he can get ready and he can get the dog out, that's his morning job, in the mean time I will wake Ashley up and get her clothes ready for her approval... Yes, she is really particular about what she will wear, after she did approve the outfit of the day, I will put it on her, everything including socks and shoes, after that I will call her to fix her hair and brush her teeth, then its time to get her book bag and snack ready... if they are riding the bus that morning I will take them to the bus stop and wait with them until the bus gets here, but if we are all going to school they will ride with me...
Once at school I will send my son to class and get someone to come to the office to get Ashley, (cause I am not allowed to take her to class anymore) she has a bad day if I do that... Then I go to the school store and help there, if there is anything else after the store ours that needs to be done I will usually stay and help, on Tuesdays its a different story cause I do the same morning routine but instead of getting someone to walk Ashley to class, I will take her to the store with me, and then after that we will go to her therapy, its a 40 min drive, then if we are not to late to come back to school I will take her back, if not I will just keep her for the day, so after all this I will come home and fix lunch, take my medicine and get the dog out, start my cleaning and check my emails...
At around 4 I will go get the kids, I do have to wait at the bus stop at least 10 minutes, then I will get Ashley off the bus, yes I literally have to take her off that bus... Give them something to eat and ask my son about 100 times to clean his room, do his homework and chores... That usually will drive me insane and I will end up taking my happy pill before getting really upset, if that day is grocery day, we will have to go to the store and buy some groceries... come back home so I can fix dinner...
Once every 3 weeks I have to take Alder to his allergy shoot, and deal with traffic and them fighting all the way back...
after dinner they have time to relax for a little bit before taking a shower, and yes I have to give Ashley a bath cause she cant do it by herself, oh and lets just add all the extra stuff that I have to do with her everyday, like practicing letters, numbers, colors, shapes, playing with her, and wiping her butt... remind her a 100 times a day to wash her hands and flush the toilet... be nice with the ferret and dog, get away from the stove when I'm cooking and to not open the door ever... to get off the chairs and to not jump on the bed, to check on her every 5 minutes to see what is she up to, and to multitask at the same time...
If we have an appointment that day.... well lets just add it to all the things that I just told you about...
On weekends its a bit different, Saturdays we have practice for special Olympics, after that she is exhausted and wont want to do anything else, so we are usually home, cause she cant walk much without asking to be carried, and she is now too heavy for me... Their dad wont help me so everything needs to be done by their favorite person "me"...
On top of all that if F wants me to go to the bank or do something for him, that will just add to my day...
So now you know how a day goes in my house... I almost forgot...
Ashley will ask unstoppable about events like Halloween, her Birthday and other things, EVERYDAY!!!
Am I Pregnant...o.O!?
I started taking supplements, I need more energy cause I just don't have any, my day goes so fast that I end up with lots of things that I didn't had time to do, and that its not good cause then I have all this unfinished things that must be done!!!
My son had a science project a few days ago, I ended up helping him with it, but today he had an event at school, and he had to go do his presentation about it... He had so much fun making that volcano erupt lots of times...
We had PT today and I asked the therapist about a recommendation for Ashley cause she gets tired so soon when she is walking, and most of the time we have to carry her, or just don't take them places cause of that reason, she will walk for 10 or 15 minutes and then she is tired and wants to go home... I just know that it must be so hard and tiring to walk on your tip toes all the time...
So I ask her!!! cause we wanted to get a stroller for Ashley but she is now too big for them, she was so nice and told me that we can get a special needs one for her and my insurance will pay for it, we have to go through the process but its OK... At last we will be able to go to the zoo or a museum, a park or just walk around the neighborhood without worrying that she will want us to carry her around...
Oh and no I'm not pregnant... lol I have this intolerance to some foods and the reaction is a belly like if I was pregnant, I looked at myself in the mirror and I was surprised to see a belly of a 6 month pregnant women... it hurts so much tho... I'm so not enjoying this... at least when you are pregnant you look like that for a reason, but in my case, well its like poo in a shoe...
We also went to the book fair at school today, and Ashley wanted a toy from there, and a book... I asked her if she was going to pay for it and she said YES!!
so I let her, but when it was time to pay she got very upset because she only wanted to give them $.25 and she had to pay $7.50, she was not happy, but she paid for the toy, I had to pay for her book, thank goodness I had a volunteer voucher and that did covered the amount of the book...
I missed a big event that my best friend son invited us to... But I had to take my son to the science fair :(
I got The Hunger Games book, and I cant wait to read it...
you can now comment here if you want without registering to do so, and don't forget that I have a tweeter, YouTube, facebook and instagram... I should write the info, right?? well if you read my blog you know where to find it!!!!
My son had a science project a few days ago, I ended up helping him with it, but today he had an event at school, and he had to go do his presentation about it... He had so much fun making that volcano erupt lots of times...
We had PT today and I asked the therapist about a recommendation for Ashley cause she gets tired so soon when she is walking, and most of the time we have to carry her, or just don't take them places cause of that reason, she will walk for 10 or 15 minutes and then she is tired and wants to go home... I just know that it must be so hard and tiring to walk on your tip toes all the time...
So I ask her!!! cause we wanted to get a stroller for Ashley but she is now too big for them, she was so nice and told me that we can get a special needs one for her and my insurance will pay for it, we have to go through the process but its OK... At last we will be able to go to the zoo or a museum, a park or just walk around the neighborhood without worrying that she will want us to carry her around...
Oh and no I'm not pregnant... lol I have this intolerance to some foods and the reaction is a belly like if I was pregnant, I looked at myself in the mirror and I was surprised to see a belly of a 6 month pregnant women... it hurts so much tho... I'm so not enjoying this... at least when you are pregnant you look like that for a reason, but in my case, well its like poo in a shoe...
We also went to the book fair at school today, and Ashley wanted a toy from there, and a book... I asked her if she was going to pay for it and she said YES!!
so I let her, but when it was time to pay she got very upset because she only wanted to give them $.25 and she had to pay $7.50, she was not happy, but she paid for the toy, I had to pay for her book, thank goodness I had a volunteer voucher and that did covered the amount of the book...
I missed a big event that my best friend son invited us to... But I had to take my son to the science fair :(
I got The Hunger Games book, and I cant wait to read it...
you can now comment here if you want without registering to do so, and don't forget that I have a tweeter, YouTube, facebook and instagram... I should write the info, right?? well if you read my blog you know where to find it!!!!
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Insomnia and pain
It's been happening for a long time now... I can't sleep at night and i end up sleeping no more than a few hours a day, I look like a zombie...
On top of that I have a pain on my left side of the neck and goes down my shoulder, my hair keeps on falling down like a ding dong hopper....
I have no time for myself I cant do my nails anymore cause of the smell... That will make F have an asthma attack, I don't really have time to do my hair, keeping up with my roots its not easy...
I need to win the lotery so I can go to a spa and have a day for myself... I will just keep dreaming about it.... Lmao.
Let's talk about what's been going on... We had training Saturday and Ashley will be on the special Olympics tournament next Sunday... She had fun Saturday but at the end she was not so happy, cause she was really tired... It's just not easy to run on your tip toes... Poor baby...
Sunday was a lazy day... It was raining and i was not going to get myself wet so we staid home.... There was nothing to do anyway.
Ashley its been complaining about a bellyache and that really concerns me... It's not normal to have a pain like that on a regular basis.... I was also thinking that she is now seven... Could it be her period coming?? I hope not... She is so not ready and neather am I...
I should go to bed... We have therapy tomorrow and its late...
Friday, April 20, 2012
Last minute everything!!!
I had such a hard day, today Ashley had to go to the pediatrician for a check up, and for the sport physical, she loves to go to the doctor.
We got to see her amazing pediatrician, she is just the best of this world... Ashley is up to date with vaccinations and she only had to give me something for the allergy that she has... we are going to do all the blood work after the Nephrology appointment...
We got home and had a nice lunch, it was too late to take her to school anyway, what made my day go nuts was that today was the last day for my son to finish a science project, and he is been so lazy that he had nothing done...
after I picked him up I drove to the store, only to find out that I didn't had my purse with me...Ding... What a fudgeroo men... I had to come back home, and then go again to the store...
We got all the materials and came back home, we found F outside cause he was just coming from work, I had to give them dinner, and after that we started with the project, a baking soda volcano...
Easy right???? WRONG!!! freaking thing was hard to make and it took us about 3 hours to finish it...
I was so mad at my son for doing this, since he had more than a month to do it, and I kept reminding him about it, I even told him that I didn't wanted him doing it the night before it was due, lmao and that is what happen....
Even Ashley was helping... poor baby had to take a quick shower cause it was so late and past her bed time... I didn't had any dinner and now I'm so hungry... I will have to sneak in the kitchen.
Oh and let me tell you what happen to me the other day... I had this camera that was almost a year old, it was giving me so much trouble, the videos had a clicking sound and the pics where not the best... I had taken that camera to repair center 3 times and I took it back cause it was again going all funky on me.
I walked into best buy and told the geek squad guy about the camera... and he was like... Oh... well since its been at the repair center 3 times, we just cant send it again, for a second I was like " OH Fudge" but then he told me that it was time for them to give me a new camera, WOOHOOO, I was so happy!!!
He started all the paperwork and then he had to call the supervisor cause he was having an issue... but after he was done he came back with a little box, and he told me, that they didn't had the same camera anymore, and that he had to get another kind, when he showed me the box I said, Holly cradmolly... it was a better camera, mine was a sonny and inside the box was an Olympus with better pixel quality and zoom... able to take pics in 3d and HD videos...
Of curse I was going to take it, and the pictures are amazing, and so are the videos... I was so lucky...cause the supervisor approved it, the issue was that the Olympus camera was not the same price as mine, and cause they approved the exchange I didn't had to pay a difference... I just love my new camera...
We got to see her amazing pediatrician, she is just the best of this world... Ashley is up to date with vaccinations and she only had to give me something for the allergy that she has... we are going to do all the blood work after the Nephrology appointment...
We got home and had a nice lunch, it was too late to take her to school anyway, what made my day go nuts was that today was the last day for my son to finish a science project, and he is been so lazy that he had nothing done...
after I picked him up I drove to the store, only to find out that I didn't had my purse with me...Ding... What a fudgeroo men... I had to come back home, and then go again to the store...
We got all the materials and came back home, we found F outside cause he was just coming from work, I had to give them dinner, and after that we started with the project, a baking soda volcano...
Easy right???? WRONG!!! freaking thing was hard to make and it took us about 3 hours to finish it...
I was so mad at my son for doing this, since he had more than a month to do it, and I kept reminding him about it, I even told him that I didn't wanted him doing it the night before it was due, lmao and that is what happen....
Even Ashley was helping... poor baby had to take a quick shower cause it was so late and past her bed time... I didn't had any dinner and now I'm so hungry... I will have to sneak in the kitchen.
Oh and let me tell you what happen to me the other day... I had this camera that was almost a year old, it was giving me so much trouble, the videos had a clicking sound and the pics where not the best... I had taken that camera to repair center 3 times and I took it back cause it was again going all funky on me.
I walked into best buy and told the geek squad guy about the camera... and he was like... Oh... well since its been at the repair center 3 times, we just cant send it again, for a second I was like " OH Fudge" but then he told me that it was time for them to give me a new camera, WOOHOOO, I was so happy!!!
He started all the paperwork and then he had to call the supervisor cause he was having an issue... but after he was done he came back with a little box, and he told me, that they didn't had the same camera anymore, and that he had to get another kind, when he showed me the box I said, Holly cradmolly... it was a better camera, mine was a sonny and inside the box was an Olympus with better pixel quality and zoom... able to take pics in 3d and HD videos...
Of curse I was going to take it, and the pictures are amazing, and so are the videos... I was so lucky...cause the supervisor approved it, the issue was that the Olympus camera was not the same price as mine, and cause they approved the exchange I didn't had to pay a difference... I just love my new camera...
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
I hate allergies!!!
Like you all know the weather its been nuts, one day cold, the next hot... Pollen everywhere and its just so hard to deal with all the allergies, my older son has so many allergies, he wants to be playing outside but cant, cause poor baby is allergic to trees, dust, grass, pollen and so many more... its just crazy...
Now, Ashley is showing signs of having allergies too... arrggg that really sucks, I really don't want to add another doctor to the extended list of doctors she already has...
I really don't know what will be best!? maybe it will help but a weekly allergy shoot its not something she will like or want, that's for sure...
We had to take the carpet off the living room due to severe asthma that F has, now the cleaning of the floors will really be a challenge, today I moped the floor at around noon, and a little after 4pm I noticed that it was so dusty and with a lot of dog hair, ( I was chillaxing on the floor, lol don't ask)just perfect for me cause I have all day long to clean the floors... lmao
Oh well I guess that will have to be done once a day and I should stop been so paranoid about the dog hair...
Tomorrow is a good day, we finally have the evaluation for private OT, I really want them to give me the appts the same day we have PT, so that way I will only make the trip once a week, I can only hope that things will be this way, cause if they have other plans, there is not much I can do...
I actually should be sleeping right now, but I cant sleep, that really sucks big time cause I must get up early to get the kids ready and myself cause we all have to go to school, they go to learn and I go to help with the school store.
I must keep myself busy all day long since I have this feeling, this need of a baby...
My family its complete, and I feel like I shouldn't be thinking about this, I have a boy and a girl, I need to focus on having the time and energy to take care of my little Ashley, how could I have the time and energy to do all that I have to do with a little one needing so much from me as well!!!
Its sad but I cant have another baby, I don't feel like its fare for Alder and Ashley... even more for Alder cause he is the one that has to help me most of the time, I don't have a lot of time for him, and he does complains about it, so how could I do this to them???
I really need to get this feeling out of my system for good...
Now, Ashley is showing signs of having allergies too... arrggg that really sucks, I really don't want to add another doctor to the extended list of doctors she already has...
I really don't know what will be best!? maybe it will help but a weekly allergy shoot its not something she will like or want, that's for sure...
We had to take the carpet off the living room due to severe asthma that F has, now the cleaning of the floors will really be a challenge, today I moped the floor at around noon, and a little after 4pm I noticed that it was so dusty and with a lot of dog hair, ( I was chillaxing on the floor, lol don't ask)just perfect for me cause I have all day long to clean the floors... lmao
Oh well I guess that will have to be done once a day and I should stop been so paranoid about the dog hair...
Tomorrow is a good day, we finally have the evaluation for private OT, I really want them to give me the appts the same day we have PT, so that way I will only make the trip once a week, I can only hope that things will be this way, cause if they have other plans, there is not much I can do...
I actually should be sleeping right now, but I cant sleep, that really sucks big time cause I must get up early to get the kids ready and myself cause we all have to go to school, they go to learn and I go to help with the school store.
I must keep myself busy all day long since I have this feeling, this need of a baby...
My family its complete, and I feel like I shouldn't be thinking about this, I have a boy and a girl, I need to focus on having the time and energy to take care of my little Ashley, how could I have the time and energy to do all that I have to do with a little one needing so much from me as well!!!
Its sad but I cant have another baby, I don't feel like its fare for Alder and Ashley... even more for Alder cause he is the one that has to help me most of the time, I don't have a lot of time for him, and he does complains about it, so how could I do this to them???
I really need to get this feeling out of my system for good...
Saturday, April 14, 2012
spring break
This week its been so not easy for me, the kids are on spring break and on top of that I had so many things to do this week, they want me to take them to the store and they want to eat out, but I cant really do that!!!, we are not so good with money right now...
Their dad is working everyday Thank God, but with all the gas that I use every week, (for appointments and therapies) it makes things harder and harder... Plus this kids eat so much, I don't really think they eat this much at school, now I think they are always hungry when they are there...
So good that today is Friday, tomorrow we are going to the Special Olympic practice, I was thinking about going to the Williams Syndrome walk in Frederick MD, but I have to ask first, cause last time I set up something like this I got in trouble...
It was for the polar plunge, "F" lmao, I will name him F cause he doesn't want to be named on my blog... oh well F made plans that day and we had to come back from Virginia Beach the same day of the plunge, cause he made plans for the night, I was so mad at him...
I didn't wanted him to go with us, but at the end he made a big drama and he had to go... so before I get all mad again because he will tell me something like, "you never ask if we can do this or that" I will ask him, just this time tho... lol
I never do... wahahaha but I was told by someone that when we are told something we do or we don't do, we should try to improve ourselves by not doing it or doing it... I don't really know if that can improve my relationship with F, cause right now its a total drama...
Don't worry I wont make you read all this drama of my life with F, cause its not important... lets keep this for us and not involve anything that has issues with F... unless its affecting my or my kids life really bad...
For now its not a big deal... My brother will be moving so far away soon, and that really makes me wonder so many things... I don't want him to move, at least not so far away, it will be impossible to see them, we always have a great time when we can be with them...
I have a few more months to maybe spend some more time with them... my brothers family its so fun and awesome... I will sure miss them.
I have Twitter@hammy0522
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I'm still working on instagram and tumblr...
Their dad is working everyday Thank God, but with all the gas that I use every week, (for appointments and therapies) it makes things harder and harder... Plus this kids eat so much, I don't really think they eat this much at school, now I think they are always hungry when they are there...
So good that today is Friday, tomorrow we are going to the Special Olympic practice, I was thinking about going to the Williams Syndrome walk in Frederick MD, but I have to ask first, cause last time I set up something like this I got in trouble...
It was for the polar plunge, "F" lmao, I will name him F cause he doesn't want to be named on my blog... oh well F made plans that day and we had to come back from Virginia Beach the same day of the plunge, cause he made plans for the night, I was so mad at him...
I didn't wanted him to go with us, but at the end he made a big drama and he had to go... so before I get all mad again because he will tell me something like, "you never ask if we can do this or that" I will ask him, just this time tho... lol
I never do... wahahaha but I was told by someone that when we are told something we do or we don't do, we should try to improve ourselves by not doing it or doing it... I don't really know if that can improve my relationship with F, cause right now its a total drama...
Don't worry I wont make you read all this drama of my life with F, cause its not important... lets keep this for us and not involve anything that has issues with F... unless its affecting my or my kids life really bad...
For now its not a big deal... My brother will be moving so far away soon, and that really makes me wonder so many things... I don't want him to move, at least not so far away, it will be impossible to see them, we always have a great time when we can be with them...
I have a few more months to maybe spend some more time with them... my brothers family its so fun and awesome... I will sure miss them.
I have Twitter
YouTube http://www.youtube.com/user/hammy0522?feature=guide
Facebook http://www.facebook.com/hammy0522
I'm still working on instagram and tumblr...
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Fear and pain
Today was PT day... or as we call it, stretchy day...lol the kids are on spring break and that made my day a bit better, I had to deal with a little traffic going to the appointment, but nothing major, we had so much fun watching Ashley push herself in a little car with her legs and then with her arms, after the therapy we stopped by my sister's in law house, so the kids could play with her kids... when we came back it was already after 4 pm so we went to buy some things to fix dinner, or as we call it... ding dings...
After day I had to get all the papers for Ashley ready for tomorrow, we have an appointment so I can get Ashley's SSI, I have never done this before and I am so clueless about what I need and what I wont need...
Ashley has a funny reaction to pollen her eyes will turn red and she will have a green discharge, but as soon as clean her eyes and get her indoors it will go away... its so unusual it has never happen before, I will call her pediatrician tomorrow and see if she can be seen..
nothing exiting today I know, I had a blah day and a sad night, when I got online and saw that a WS baby got her wings today... I couldn't hold my tears and I had to stop and go to the bathroom so I wouldn't upset the kids... I told my older son that saw me after a few minutes an noticed that I was crying, my Ashley heard it and said its so unfair, and started to cry as well...
I cant help but worry about my girl, cause we WS moms know that all this issues can show up any time, and how hard and dangerous they can be to our kids....
I can only pray and hope that Ashley wont develop any life threatening conditions, cause I don't know if I could deal with that, I'm not strong enough....
After day I had to get all the papers for Ashley ready for tomorrow, we have an appointment so I can get Ashley's SSI, I have never done this before and I am so clueless about what I need and what I wont need...
Ashley has a funny reaction to pollen her eyes will turn red and she will have a green discharge, but as soon as clean her eyes and get her indoors it will go away... its so unusual it has never happen before, I will call her pediatrician tomorrow and see if she can be seen..
nothing exiting today I know, I had a blah day and a sad night, when I got online and saw that a WS baby got her wings today... I couldn't hold my tears and I had to stop and go to the bathroom so I wouldn't upset the kids... I told my older son that saw me after a few minutes an noticed that I was crying, my Ashley heard it and said its so unfair, and started to cry as well...
I cant help but worry about my girl, cause we WS moms know that all this issues can show up any time, and how hard and dangerous they can be to our kids....
I can only pray and hope that Ashley wont develop any life threatening conditions, cause I don't know if I could deal with that, I'm not strong enough....
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Physical Therapy
Now that My daughter has Physical Therapy I can see improvement on how she is walking, even tho she doesn't like when we have to do the stretches its very important to keep doing it, she is walking but not the "normal" way...
Making her exercise is such a challenge, the only way she will do it is if she is not aware that she is doing it.... do I make any sense? playing and doing everything fun for her... Not easy I have to say, we will be doing lots of "therapy exercises" outdoors.
And talking about outdoors, have you all notice the amount of mosquitoes we have? they always want to eat me alive, its not fun to be all itchy, today they got me good, on my back and arms, I should look for some natural way to get them off my skin...
I need a scouter for Ashley, so she can do some of her exercises, good thing is not very expensive... I will get it soon for her, she has been doing lots of paying with the therapy putty, I added some beads to it and she loves to get them out of it, that sure will help getting her fingers stronger, she is not able to hold the pencil the right way, even tho the school OT said that she is, she is not, she has to be reminded to hold it the right way, and when she does, she soon gets tired and starts holding it the wrong way...
Its going to be fun seen her with the things on her feet, they wrap around the feet and make noise, I'm sure that the dog will be chasing her... lol
My sleeping patterns are so messed up now that I cant even go to bed early, I think I will ask my doctor for some sleeping id... Nothing else going on... at least not important enough to be shared here...
I was told once that if its not important, we shouldn't give any energy to it... I think that is true since if we do give energy to it becomes a problem... smart move ha...
Have a good night and I will try to blog more often...
Making her exercise is such a challenge, the only way she will do it is if she is not aware that she is doing it.... do I make any sense? playing and doing everything fun for her... Not easy I have to say, we will be doing lots of "therapy exercises" outdoors.
And talking about outdoors, have you all notice the amount of mosquitoes we have? they always want to eat me alive, its not fun to be all itchy, today they got me good, on my back and arms, I should look for some natural way to get them off my skin...
I need a scouter for Ashley, so she can do some of her exercises, good thing is not very expensive... I will get it soon for her, she has been doing lots of paying with the therapy putty, I added some beads to it and she loves to get them out of it, that sure will help getting her fingers stronger, she is not able to hold the pencil the right way, even tho the school OT said that she is, she is not, she has to be reminded to hold it the right way, and when she does, she soon gets tired and starts holding it the wrong way...
Its going to be fun seen her with the things on her feet, they wrap around the feet and make noise, I'm sure that the dog will be chasing her... lol
My sleeping patterns are so messed up now that I cant even go to bed early, I think I will ask my doctor for some sleeping id... Nothing else going on... at least not important enough to be shared here...
I was told once that if its not important, we shouldn't give any energy to it... I think that is true since if we do give energy to it becomes a problem... smart move ha...
Have a good night and I will try to blog more often...
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Amazing weekend
Such a long weekend, we had so much fun, Friday was a bit hard, it was Ashley's birthday, she is now 7 years old, my beautiful baby is growing up so fast, she woke up very happy and loved that I was singing happy birthday, I got her ready for school, after they left, I started cleaning but somewhere in between there I got a call, I had to take my pregnant friend somewhere, so I went to get her, I had to stop by Walmart to buy the cake, and rush my way back home to get all the things that I needed to take to school...
The cake was so good, chocolate like Ashley asked... she was so happy, the only problem was that I didn't knew that it was Dr Seuss day, and that they could go dressed as a character, we totally missed that...
Saturday was very exiting, I had visits, so we cooked and had lots of food, it was delightful, awesome to be with friends around...
And today, I got to be with my pregnant friend again, we ate with her family, they are so sweet and we just love to be around them, now I'm super exhausted all I want is to go to bed, but I'm waiting on the dryer machine to be done, argg that is not fun at all... I wish I could just go to bed, but we need our clothes, I'm sure that by the time the dryer is done I wont be sleepy anymore...
I need to go back to the gym, I just don't know if I will be able to do so... its so hard when the gas prices are so high, more than $4.00 per gallon is not easy to afford, even harder when your vehicle is a monster like mine...
If things keep on going this way, I will end up riding a donkey... how can we keep paying those prices? its crazy!! we don't get more money a month, but we are expected to afford the price of gas?? I have to take my daughter to her therapies... I just hope that my husband will actually work everyday, cause if he doesn't, well we will have a serious economical problem...
I wont think about that for now, I will live one day at a time like I do all the time, its just the only way...
The cake was so good, chocolate like Ashley asked... she was so happy, the only problem was that I didn't knew that it was Dr Seuss day, and that they could go dressed as a character, we totally missed that...
Saturday was very exiting, I had visits, so we cooked and had lots of food, it was delightful, awesome to be with friends around...
And today, I got to be with my pregnant friend again, we ate with her family, they are so sweet and we just love to be around them, now I'm super exhausted all I want is to go to bed, but I'm waiting on the dryer machine to be done, argg that is not fun at all... I wish I could just go to bed, but we need our clothes, I'm sure that by the time the dryer is done I wont be sleepy anymore...
I need to go back to the gym, I just don't know if I will be able to do so... its so hard when the gas prices are so high, more than $4.00 per gallon is not easy to afford, even harder when your vehicle is a monster like mine...
If things keep on going this way, I will end up riding a donkey... how can we keep paying those prices? its crazy!! we don't get more money a month, but we are expected to afford the price of gas?? I have to take my daughter to her therapies... I just hope that my husband will actually work everyday, cause if he doesn't, well we will have a serious economical problem...
I wont think about that for now, I will live one day at a time like I do all the time, its just the only way...
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