When you have a child you have so many hopes for that kid, you want your son or daughter to be able to crawl, walk, talk, grow up and be able to go to school, go to the university and get married, and why not? give you grand kids. But when you are faced with the challenges of raising a special needs child, regardless of the disability the world around you changes completely.
All the dreams that you had must disappear, you are faced with situations out of your control, health issues, learning disabilities and people that will never understand your kid, people that will not only say ignorant comments but also make fun or bully your child, they not only come in the shape of a child, but many times are adults the ones with the most hurtful and hateful comments.
The annoying way some people will look at your child, as if they have seen the most horrendous thing in life and it makes me sick.
This world is full of ignorant people, those that think that having a child with special needs its a curse from God, the ones that think that its contagious and don't want to get close to your kid and those that will use the "R" word with friends because its cool and they don't feel like its offensive because they are too busy been stupid to get a dictionary and actually read the definition. Oh, but please don't grab the urban dictionary, because that doesn't count as dictionary to me.
So the point is clear, we as parents of a special needs kids have lots of fears. We all agree on at least one, we don't know what the future might bring for our kids long or short term... And you might say, well, all parents worry about that. Yes and no!!! Let me tell you why.
I love my kids and I expect different things from my typical child and from my special needs one, my son has way more chances than my daughter, he has things the easy way. For him its not hard to do everyday things and tasks, and he can be pushed harder so he can succeed at school and in life. With my daughter is way different, she needs more time processing school work, she has a slight chance of not graduating high school, she will have a harder time learning everyday chores and tasks. I'm about 80% sure that my son will give me grand kids, but I'm and 80% sure as well that my daughter wont.
Its not because she is not capable of been a mother, but because there is a 50% chance that her kids will be born with the same disability, if the father has no disabilities, but if he does then the chance goes way up. So the question comes to my head, if she does have a child, typical or special. Who will take care of that baby? if my daughter will barely be able to take care of her own needs... She might even need help herself.
I wont be here forever, so what is my child going to do once I'm gone? who will take care of her? is she going to be ok? will she be protected? who will be there on her hard moments? who will put up with her bad choices? will she find love? or will she be lonely? those are the real fears of a special needs parent, because our normal daily life its really busy, we know more doctors than a regular parent will in their life time, we are ready to fight for that kid needs at school or at the doctors office, we will find our way around a no, we are most of the time exhausted beyond believe, but even that way we find energy to continue day or night, its easier for us to clean human fluids as long as its the fluids or our kids.
We multitask, I can at least cook a meal, clean or do the dishes and schedule doctor app's at the same time, we can lift the weight of our kid without complaining, and it doesn't matter if its a one year old or a 17 year old, if it must be done we will do it.
Some moms and dads require a little more time to adjust to all the new changes of a diagnosed child, some will take months to be able to accept, others will be on denial for longer time, whatever your case, just make sure to tell that child that you love them and that you will always do, it doesn't matter if its a newborn or a 10 year old, just tell that child how much you love him or her.
And please don't use the "R" word, life can teach you real lessons and you never know if your own child will be diagnosed with a learning disability or even your grand kid.
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